The Tendencies that Make You Happier & More Effective with Gretchen Rubin
In the world of productivity hacking and self-help, Gretchen Rubin needs little introduction.
She’s a nationally acclaimed author who’s written books such as The Happiness Project, and her latest, Outer Order, Inner Calm, about habit change and happiness. Her books have sold millions and been on the New York Times best seller list numerous times.
Gretchen draws from cutting edge research, tried and true wisdom and her own life experience, but she’s not afraid to admit that she herself is not an expert. She’s not a scientist, but writes about topics that have a scientific edge. She’s one of the country’s top thinkers on happiness and human nature.
Gretchen and I cover a lot of ground in this interview. We discuss her framework The Four Tendencies, how people respond to expectations, because of how much it impacted me. In this episode, you’ll learn why self-knowledge is the key to a better life, and how knowing your tendency can revolutionize the way you work and live.
You’ll love this episode, heroine, it’s a great one.
Featured Moment
Majo: What’s some of the toughest criticism you’ve received over the years and has any of it gotten to you?
Gretchen: I don’t read any reviews of my work. It wasn’t helpful, it wasn’t constructive. I have people who are thoughtful and very knowledgeable who take an interest and will help me do things better. That is not the same thing as someone doing a drive-by on Amazon. Things lodge in my head and I would overreact to them in ways that could’ve made my work worse. Why am I bowing to one person’s criticism just because it struck me hard, instead of someone who’s a much better literary person and has a better sense of what I’m trying to do. I would never listen to this person in real life. And yet, if I read it, it’s going to get stuck in my head. If I open myself up to criticism too much, I would respond in the wrong ways, not the right ways, because I don’t feel like that criticism is very thoughtful.
Show Notes
How Gretchen’s creative childhood activities informed how she creates as an adult
Why she initially chose to study law
Why she believes discipline gives her creative freedom
Why it’s important to understand what works for you, not for someone else
The Four Tendencies — what they are, and why they matter for you
The role of Obligers in today’s society
Gender roles and the Four Tendencies
How Gretchen views criticism about her work
What Gretchen is reclaiming in her life
References
Featured Black Female Voice
Today’s Black female spotlight is Ariana DeBose – lead dancer in the broadway show Hamilton, now available for streaming on Disney+.
You may remember Ariana from our episode “Being a Creator” where we talk about her challenges as an outspoken girl and one of the only students of color in her peer group, her encounter with anorexia and the pressure she felt as a teenager to be perfect, and what it means to her to be a true creator.
Here’s what Ariana is up to now:
Stars as Anita in the new film adaptation of West Side Story, due out later this year
Stars as Alyssa Greene in the musical Broadway film, The Prom
Seen in the film adaptation of Hamilton available on Disney+
You can follow Ariana on Instagram @arianadebose.
One Last Thing
My book, Break the Good Girl Myth is now available! The first few weeks of a book’s publication really determines whether it gets picked up by the media and included on reading/bestseller lists, etc. Every single order counts. If I’ve supported you in any way ever through this newsletter or the podcast, it would truly mean so much and be incredibly helpful if you bought the book right now (vs. later). Order the book. Deep thanks to you!