My Secret Tattoo
Did I ever tell you about the time I got a tattoo? No?
An ex-boyfriend was a tattoo addict and with his encouragement I began toying with the idea of one during my last year in college.
After casually researching options over a few weeks, we decided what the heck, let’s go to the parlor to get my first tattoo together. “Whatever you do,” he said, “put my initials on it.”
I know. Ew.
So this tattoo would be physical proof of our “undying love.” And though I didn’t realize it at the time, it’s clear he wanted to “mark his territory” on my body. When we arrived at the tattoo parlor, he quickly abandoned me to get inked himself. That would have been my first opportunity to speak up, let him know I was nervous about getting the tattoo, and request that he stay with me. But no, I let him go.
When the tattoo artist literally spent a minute or two sketching something, she asked me what I thought. This moment would have been my second opportunity to speak up and let the artist know that I needed more than five minutes to think about it. But I didn't. I kept quiet.
And I got that tattoo. Yes, with his initials.
I had no voice. In those moments, I was too afraid to stand up for myself. Too disconnected to express my needs and desires.
After getting the darn thing, I can’t describe the horror and shame I felt afterward. I felt that at my young age, I had been damaged and claimed by this terrible man. This tattoo had sealed my fate, and I was trapped forever. I felt deeply scarred, ruined, and, worst of all, filled with self-loathing because I hadn’t stood up for myself.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because it’s time for us to break the good girl myth, the exact subject of my new book (available for pre-order now).
Because we all have something we are too afraid to share. Whether it's our truth, voice, our creative purpose, or our gifts. But every time we don't share, it leaves a mark on us – emotionally, physically, spiritually. We pay the price.
Signs that you might be holding something in:
You wake up knowing there must be more to life than this
You feel like "something's missing" but you can't put your finger on it
You know what you don't want, but you don't know what you want (very common!)
You're anxious, tired, or your body is experiencing stress and inflammation about this
You know you've only scratched the surface of your potential, and it feels frustrating, even embarrassing sometimes
You had a lot of gifts as a little girl but over time, you've ignored them...
Don't make the mistake I made. Don't be a good girl and hold back your voice in order to please, get along, or avoid criticism.
How does this tattoo story end?
I still have it, but I've taken his initials off. I've also decided to tell myself a more empowering story about the tattoo, that it represents something sacred to me. That I was able to overcome that relationship and find a new beginning for myself. That our bodies hold our histories. That's all we can do – re-write our stories when we look back, and reclaim what we need for ourselves.
So, what are you reclaiming for yourself? And most of all, what are you still holding in?
xx
Majo
P.S. Like I mentioned, I share this tattoo anecdote in my new book, Break the Good Girl Myth (which you can pre-order here). This is the last week to receive the special bonus training (worth $300) for pre-ordering.
In the training, you'll learn:
➕ The one intention you must clarify to get clear about your creative purpose
➕ How to more easily bring shape to your creative purpose by choosing one of the four creator paths
➕ A powerful process for choosing a direction if you have a lot of interests and passions
➕ How to turn your creative dream plan into an actionable, creative dream plan
Offer expires on Tuesday.