The Toxic World of Social Media & Influence
This morning, I spent forty minutes on Instagram. A fellow podcaster booked a high-end author who I never heard back from. Another woman was killing it on TikTok, making hilarious lip-sych videos. A meditation teacher and fellow author was on his fifteenth day of Instagram Lives. At the end of those forty minutes, I did not feel inspired. I felt worst about myself and my “standing” in the world. My thoughts in three words? I. have. failed.
Now while I get that I have inner work to do around my negative thoughts (work-in-progress), let’s talk about toxic cultures and environments.
First off, Instagram and influence culture exists within a larger patriarchal-capitalist society which is by definition mostly toxic to 99% of us.
Given this larger society and culture, it’s not surprising that many of us grew up as good girls and boys (in fact, I wrote a whole book on this topic and phenomenon and how to overcome it)– hooking our worth to external markers of approval – grades, points, money, awards – and then at how well we perform in our careers, leadership, and business. In other words, we were raised to compare and work harder. This programming – which I call the Myth of Perfection – in my book, is largely subconscious but constantly running in the background, determining the actions we take.
On Instagram, the culture of hierarchy, achievement, and perfection continues to run wild through views, comments, and most of all – followers. Whether we like it or not, I’ve noticed a trend in myself and other people engaged on Instagram – we begin to value each other in terms of reach instead of depth.
The way Instagram is fundamentally designed triggers that old good girl conditioning of comparison and feelings of failure.
I, myself, have fallen for the trap of “influencer-loving,” sizing people up based on their Instagram “influence” more so than if they had anything meaningful to say, or if their intention was rooted in something good. Some of you may think this is old news and remember talking about this when social media first began, but now with mental health issues on the rise amongst COVID, I think it’s important we revisit. Things have only worsened. Instagram engagement has gone up significantly – and Instagram Lives have increased by 70%.
Instagram provides us meaningful content and solace during a national crisis, while staying fundamentally designed in a way to hook and control us.
Please don’t get me wrong. I understand the benefits and values of these tools, but the price is still too steep, as the platform uses invariable rewards to sustain our attention.
I realize that criticizing the very tool that I hope to help me spread my book’s message and bring me clients is probably not smart (how can you be truly “successful” in something that you have conflicting feelings about?) but if we don’t question our culture, we risk become its pawns. Social media is a huge part of our culture right now.
Some questions I’ve started to ask myself to re-orient my relationship with social media:
What boundaries can I put in place to limit my time consuming content on the platform?
How can I use this platform in a way that nourishes me?
How can I value depth over reach?
How can I be best of service on here?
How can I share my real voice, thoughts, and feelings on here, instead of perform and “manage my impression”?
Now I want to hear from you, what’s your relationship to the gram (or other social media platforms) and how can you bring it into greater alignment?
Majo