If I'm deeply honest with myself, truly truly honest, though it's scary to even say out loud: I would love to be covering, composing, sharing, and performing music. There. I said it. It's been one of my deepest creative dreams, rediscovered only a few years ago.
There's something about creating music that is very vulnerable. First of all, it involves sharing your voice. As women, we've been trained *not* to share our voices. Second, it involves conveying emotion. Performing music is deeply emotional because you're sharing the underlying mood and tone of the song through your voice, body, and facial expressions. It's raw. And like any creative pursuit, it asks us to let go of our high standards and idealism, and embrace where we are now.
One morning, I wondered, what would be the most badass thing I could do? If I were to overcome my Inner Good Girl in a big way, and not worry about any resources or what anyone else would think of me, what would it be? My intuition whispered: You'd make a music video, of course.
That exact day, I asked a friend if she knew any videographers. She said that she didn't but really wanted to connect me with Richie Biluan – a photographer who focuses on capturing vulnerable, beautiful black-and-white film portraits. So Richie came over to my home in the Redwoods to take some casual portraits of me. After a while, she started taking some video footage... one thing lead to another, I picked up my guitar and then fiddled on the piano, and then boom – we were making a music video (WHAT?!). My dream was coming true...
What struck me about this is how naturally it all unfolded. I had the thought one week, and the next week it was happening! I was also lucky because Richie is extremely multi-talented, as an SF-based photographer with both a music and movement background, she just got it. Hours flew by and we had so much fun.
The result? My first music video ever, in which I sing a partial cover of Kate Wolf's song Redtail Hawk (1976).
"The redtail hawk writes songs across the sky,
There's music in the waters flowing by,
And you can hear a song each time the wind sighs,
In the golden rolling hills of California."
And you're the first to see it.
It shows you my fully artistic, fairy side – the side you might not see on the Heroine podcast or if you're working with me in a professional context as a coach. It's a side of me that I barely show, because it feels too vulnerable.
But I'm owning it. Watch the music video here.
When we let go of the desire to be perfect, the best, or even good, something beautiful emerges – the raw reality of where we are right now, in this moment... learning, growing, stretching, and living at the edge of our vulnerability.
What's the most creatively badass thing you could do? If you were truly honest with yourself and it didn't need to be perfect? Reply and let me know. If you don't know where to look, follow your vulnerability and that will give you a strong clue.
P.S. I'm also hosting a free live Q&A this Thursday at 5pm PT... I haven't done one of these in a while, so if you want to connect off the screen, ask questions, or just listen in, find out more info and register here.